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March 5th, 2009
 | 02:03 pm
Twitter changed, fyi.
new username: avenue_a
xoxo
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February 28th, 2009
| 03:10 am - Love letter
Dear Sleep,
I totally want to do you. I can't live without you. I'm going a little crazy without you. Come to bed with me?
<3, Alax
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February 20th, 2009
| 01:41 am - My first guitar
Today I bought my first guitar, a Laguna LG CERW electric acoustic. It's got a gorgeous sound, better than the Taylors and Martins I tried. I'm so not a label queen, and when this one stuck, it stuck. I've been pining for it ever since. So today I just made the leap. I'm in heaven. Guitar heaven. Music heaven. I'm already halfway to playing "Body's A Temple" by Jay Brannan. Did I mention him yet today? Because WOW. Anyway, I'm even playing guitar in my dreams, which I'm sure is helping me along *g*.
( So Fri is girls' night, and we all decided to stay in this time, so they're coming to my house for shepherd's pie and chick flicks! )
This has been a wonderful 24 hours, despite the fact that I've been awake for nearly all of them (thank you b12 injections!). Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!
xoxoxo
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February 17th, 2009
| 01:15 am - What comes around (thank you, karma, you blessed cosmic certainty)
I'm a little bit in love with Holding Trevor. I fell in love a little more when I found out the lead and one of the supporting actors are best friends, the lead wrote and produced the film, and the best friend wrote and performed his own music in the film. Oh, this song - the only way for me to describe it is that I wanted my heart to stop beating just so I could hear it that much better. Seriously.
I'm having a hard time not thinking about the film, not playing the soundtrack on an endless loop in my head (hello, Jay Brannan, where has your music been my whole life?). "Lower My Gun" is the kind of song that made me start playing guitar in the first place, only I think in some freakish way, it actually *is* why I started playing, even though I had never heard it until tonight. That is my music. That is me. Me, right there. Such a weird sensation.
Anyway, run to him, friends. He is musical magic. And he needs to eat this week.
Then buy the film, go ahead, you'll want it in your library for. ever.
xoxo
Current Music: Jay Brannan, Lower My Gun (I could die perfectly content listening to this)
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February 16th, 2009
| 02:03 pm - Don't ask, don't tell: Autism & Vaccines from a parent's perspective
Had lunch at my son's school today and was surprised by a parent who asked me about his autism, wanted to hear how it started and when I told her, asked incredulously, "you don't believe the MMR did it, do you?"
( The undeniable, documented truth is that mini was *perfectly normal* until his one-year shots (including the MMR). Here is our experience, for the record. )
When people condemn parents for not getting vaccines for their children because they have seen this happen, exactly the way it happened to us, or when they say nasty things about parents like me who know what they experienced first-hand, it makes me a little sick. Walk a day in our shoes, come back with me to that day and sit beside me while I watch my son leave us forever. Hold my hand while we lose the person he would have become to autism.
If you'd seen it first-hand, you would be wary of those same vaccines, too.
I stopped questioning why a long time ago and embrace the belief that *this* is who he was always meant to be.
I don't know what caused my son's autism, and the sad thing is, no one else does, either. If they're going to rule out the MMR, great. Now let's move on to figuring out exactly what *did* cause all of these children to lose their ability to speak, to interact, to understand, to communicate, to connect, to share, to love and know they are loved. Then parents wouldn't have to be afraid of vaccines, and one out of one hundred and fifty children might not still be lost to autism.
And please, if you don't know what causes autism, don't condemn me for not knowing either. So much wasted energy.
xoxo
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February 15th, 2009
 | 11:04 am - Rec this journal
Here is this fantastic think-out-of-the-box tool that I'm in love with.
It's Wreck this Journal (that's the author's pseudo bloggy thing, & it's not current, but it gives you a few more little instructions.)
This is a fantastic tool for me because:
1. I am incapable of tearing up books. In. Cap. Able.
2. I need someone telling me what to do. Permission is comforting
3. I get locked into standards & conventions at the drop of a hat
4. Sometimes I can't see past my little world
5. Creativity should be fluid & I should evolve creatively
6. My heart pounds when I try something totally un-me, even if I'm sure no one's watching & heart-pounding is a good thing
7. The subversive part of me wants to do this to a ton of books, but this is the only one that will *let* me, will *ask* me to do it.
8. Buttons are for pushing
And finally, it's just plain fun.
Get one for yourself - how much would you pay for a bit more freedom?
( I'm a Wreck & This is my Journal (roadblocks I'm running up against in this process) )
xoxoxo
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February 7th, 2009
| 04:19 am - In that randomy 4am sort of way
Awake. Living on the edge. Might as well jump. Not flocked, because I'm not a shepherd. And that seems profound, but probably only because I've not slept. Still, writing it down. You guys should see the crazyass stuff in my notebooks these days. I can't even decipher some of it. Prepare yourself for rambling.
( I tried turning everything off and staring at the dark ceiling, but that was boring and I was way too in my own head for my own good. )I make no apologies for playlists. Policy of mine. It's been a helluva all-nighter, actually. Will provide links, when I get a real playlist together & convince myself anyone wants it other than me.
Also? A little tip for you. Or, well, two. Two tips. Tip #1: If you're going to pressure your s.o. into giving you an injection, don't nervous-laugh your way through it and make them hurt you with the needle. (*rubs deltoid*) Tip #2: If you're going to inject something that messes with sleep, don't do it like four hours before bedtime because... well, I'm typing these tips at 4:32am. Nuf said.
Someone please, please knock me out. Please?
xoxoxo
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February 5th, 2009
 | 12:25 pm - Spreading myself so very thin
I'm totally officially all over the place, guys. Now posting on Twitter & Myspace: Myashke_Alax.
And you know, here. (I'm still wondering how this happened. I'm not this social.)
I'm really liking the myspace blog (my ninjas make me happy), but I have literally like 4 friends, three of which are actual bands, not friends, so um. I'm mostly talking to myself, which is healthy, right? But you know, lj feels oppressive and knowing no one is watching/reading is kind of refreshing in a weird way.
Oh, and today is going to kick my ass, what with both kids, the errands in knoxvegas, swim with Hank (seriously? kill me now. he's not legal and I'm not straight. this is what I chant to myself, yep.).
All I want to do is write lyrics and play guitar. That's it. I don't even really want to be posting this, actually, but my fingertips are numb from working on Anyone Else But You, the should-be simplest song in creation. Why can't I be a prodigy???
xoxoxo
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February 4th, 2009
| 03:59 pm - Band rec - Good Times (Springfield, MO)
Went to MURDERFEST (ill and inaptly named, seriously) in Missouri and was completely taken down eighteen notches by the fact that I was one of the oldest people there. Music prevailed, natch. The so-worth-my-humiliation band is currently finishing high school, so you can't you know, myspace stalk them or anything. Still, I totally want to jam with them or get slurpies with them or you know, sign them to a spanking new label and shit. Nothing inappropriate there. I can be Pete Wentz, yep.
I'm settling for reccing them everyfrakkingwhere right now. They're tight, but in need of (better) lyrics, I realize this. But coming from a writer to a bunch of writers, well, we're probably all far too critical, don't you think? And seriously, they're in HIGH SCHOOL. Been playing for a while though, obviously. Be impressed. Friend them, spread the word, buy their shit when they get it online, see them when you're in town, yadda yadda. Click here for some GOOD TIMES.
I should probably put some sort of warning here, like don't go digging in my lj, b/c I'm totally a freak or something. I guess that'll do, in case the linkage comes full circle. Most of my freakiness is under flock, though, so we're probably all safe here.
xoxo
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February 2nd, 2009
| 12:36 am - From Springfield, MO
( Gods I wish I had someone to play with. GUITAR. I wish I had someone to play GUITAR with. Pervs. )
Right. It's the Monday side of midnight and I have clothes in the hotel dryer and I just. What am I doing here? I can't believe I've come this far, alone, *again* to get treatment. It didn't even work last time. Faith. Hmm... that's one I don't visit often.
I need company. Guitarist company. Vocal, acoustic, patient guitarist company. And maybe sleep - maybe, after I get the switch.
And I'm cross-posting now, which is just weird. I'm all over the place. Literally. R. & John are waiting for me.
xoxo
Current Mood: calm
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February 1st, 2009
| 11:53 am - Music is Life Meme (aka Soundtrack of Life)
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
7. No cheating and doctoring your list to make yourself look cooler than the person you took this from
( My Life's Soundtrack, which turned out eerily accurate! )
gakked from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) otterdance, one of my favorite authors, who you should all read asap.
xoxo
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January 21st, 2009
| 08:57 am - Am I who you think about in bed? & FriXion
( Pilot FriXion, not just for kinky cockpit fun anymore! OR This product has changed my life! OR Write Right: Disappearing Erasable Ink )
FriXion is the first erasable pen I've ever used that actually did the job and well. Love. Comes in a variety colors, if that's your kink. About $3.50 for a two-pack at Walgreens. The only drawback, not clickable so of course I'll lose the cap in about 2 seconds.
Also, Brendon Urie's ridiculously passion-filled belting-out voice has invaded my every pore and won't. get. out. It's just every brief lyric in each song where he hits *those* notes - on a constant loop in my head, incoherent b/c it's like sampling 15 of their songs into one cringe-worthy club mix. Lying should never be juxtaposed with Folkin', or Rabbits, or But It's Better. Gah. Full songs wouldn't be bad, but this...
Send me your playlists so I can find something to take Panic's place for five friggin seconds?
I'm seriously considering reverting to 17, going out with lilsis this weekend in scene makeup and *gasp* drawing on my chucks. Sacrilege, I know. I'm so ashamed.
xoxoxo
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January 19th, 2009
| 04:42 pm - Oh happy day!
I am *so* not going to talk about politics. Not. I grew up in D.C. and have such vivid memories of the Mall that at will I can place myself there. Although in my imagination, in the press of the crowd, everyone is taller than me since I was a kid back then lol. My heart's there, freezing and fluttering with anticipation. Not that any miracles will happen tomorrow, but still. It's just that there's a possibility for something ELSE.
I'm missing people today, past people, years-ago people, friends, not-friends, fucks, near-fucks, faces. Faces and hands.
Also, there's a guy named Ryan (I have a thing about Ryans, not a thing thing, but a bizzarro thing where they frequently disarm and confuse and steer me in weird and interesting and life-altered directions). Anyway, right. A guy named Ryan who has this little garage band... I happened upon this horizon-expanding Z to A music rec list yesterday. Even if you don't listen to his music, listen to his recs, at least. He's on M now I think, and it automatically makes you want to ride the musical alphabet train rec yourself. Or you know, it does me. Oh and don't read the comments, they'll seem funny, but in the end they'll just depress you and make you want to write something intelligent because GAH, but of course you'll realize that *any* comment is going to be disgustingly lame with the parenthetical "omg i luv u" posts on either side. Seriously.
And that was relatively random, but I read all of my posts back to Jan. 2007 the other day and decided it's time to start recording the insanity that is my life again.
I'm making curry, the comes-in-a-frozen-kit kind, not the from-scratch kind. Shaggy is a curry goddess and inspires me right down to my diet. Also jasmine rice. Who's coming over?
xoxo
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January 17th, 2009
| 11:55 pm - Not, not really
Did *not* have the brain surgery scheduled for last Tuesday, and was on a now too-rare visit with shaggirl when they told me that I couldn't have it.
( Heart, Brain, Soul )
Will update if/when they reschedule neurosurgery or you know, find anything else freaktastic about me that we don't already know. Or if I decide on the road trip. Spontaneously.
For now I'm here.
xoxo
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September 5th, 2007
| 02:26 pm - Favorite British Foods???
First of all, I've been incommunicado during the last month due to my health. I'm sorry if I missed your email and posts.
I'm creating a menu for our group's HP weekend in the Smokies in October and need some help! I have some ideas - please take a look and see what you think. Any suggestions, warnings about yucky stuff, etc. would be GREAT, since I have only minimal experience cooking and eating British foods! :) I've rated the recipes I have E for easy, M for medium and H for hard (some are rated M or H just because they take a long time to prepare) - please tell me if you think I'm wrong about those guesses, too!
( MENU IDEAS - PLEASE HELP!!! )
Also, it looks like we might have as many as 15 people in the cabin at once (it's a HUGE cabin, trust me), so we may end up cooking for 15 at any given meal. I'm a little worried that some recipes will be hard to adapt to that many servings.
Any help you can give me would be great!
xoxo
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August 3rd, 2007
| 01:16 pm - End of an era
So I've been very comfortable here for many years. Many as in six, actually. And I don't want to leave, and won't leave yet, though LJ will no longer be getting any money from me. I do understand their policies and their reasoning, but their elimination criteria are shaky at best and downright ridiculous at worst. I also disagree with immediate deletion without warning or opportunity to defend/justify one's post. ponderosa121 was deleted for a piece of art that doesn't even look remotely chan-ish. Who knows how many others are being subjected to random deletion that I haven't even found yet.
All my fic has been archived at my website and some of it on skyehawke, and I *think* I've deleted anything even remotely questionable from this lj. Unless, of course, LJ begins to find angst, autism or closeted gays offensive.
Which actually wouldn't surprise me in the least at this point. After all, potty training might translate as scat in their eyes. They found breastfeeding offensive enough, didn't they?
I've registered at insanejournal and greatestjournal as myashke, but haven't used them yet. I've backed up my ljs, but I have a feeling a couple of comms I started might get the axe, including my first-time coming out stories comm, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) out_write, which has posts that describe underage homosexual situations in some detail, since almost everyone there was under 18 before they had sex. *sigh* Sadly, it seems if one of my journals/comms is TOSsed, this one will be as well (this is, after all, non-discriminatory censorship) *snort*.
Here's my info, just in case:
viewfromthepenthouse@gmail.com
inkwell.inkubation.net
myashke on Skyehawke, greatestjournal and insanejournal (who knows where I'll end up)
I'll no longer be linking fic here at all.
LJ has stopped using the strikethrough to indicate a deleted journal, presumably so people won't actually recognize when their friends have been deleted. This, in particular, rankles. If they're going to delete journals, they should have the balls not to hide it. IMO, it's cowardly and frankly shows their uncertainty that they are in the right.
One last request - I know it's a doozy and you may not do it, but I have to ask, at least. If you are deleted, or know of someone who is deleted who you know I'm close to, please, please email me. I'm not on my flist or around fandom enough to realize when someone is gone (not immediately, anyway). I'm afraid I'll go looking for someone and not be able to find them.
Has anyone started a comm somewhere with a list of people who have been deleted and their new journals elsewhere??? This should be done!
I got just under three hours last night, just for the record. Am considering pissing someone off enough that they'll knock me out. Any takers?
xoxoxo
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July 23rd, 2007
| 12:25 pm - Attention WRITERS
Do you reply to comments on skyehawke or other fic archives?
Don't know if I'm insulting people if I don't reply to their comments, but I also don't want to keep saying a generic "thank you" over and over, which seems to dull the sentiment, even if I'm genuinely feeling it.
What do you guys think?
xoxo
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July 22nd, 2007
| 11:14 am - Post -Deathly Hallows Snarry (a quick fix)
I had to fix this, quick, before my heart fractured irreparably.
( Dawning )
Rating: PG
Pairing: Snarry
A/N: SPOILERIFIC, unbetaed, a quick fix b/c I need it
xoxo
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July 20th, 2007
| 02:42 am - Okay, wait.
Does this new LJ policy include ICONS? Because um... half of ljland uses slashy icons of our boys (whomever they are). What about mood themes? Are they seriously going to check every single icon and theme icon and judge whether the boys look underage?
Geez.
Hell, at least it's a distraction, right?
xoxo
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| 12:37 am - Someone? Anyone? Help!
So do I need to be deleting my fic and fic links?
I don't want to lose all my entries about George - his entire life has been journaled here on lj. I can't imagine losing it all. I don't have a backup, either.
Come to that, how can I make a backup of my journal just in case? Will it take me all night?
And you know, I don't think I could ever find all my friends and start over on another journal site. Hell, I can barely participate on this one for all the time I have.
I'm not on my flist until Sat afternoon/evening for obvious reasons, and only know thanks to a very kind soul who emailed me about the latest insert-expletive-here-because-my-brain-hurts-too-much-to-think-of-one kerfluffle.
xoxo
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